--while they rearrange the wires in her heart.

agentokazaki @ 2003-06-20T03:39:00

2003-06-20T07:46:21Z

my thesaurus says:

electric adj. dynamic, exciting, thrilling, electrifying, stirring, inspiring, charged, stimulating, galvanizing, startling, tense, expectant.

this is electric.

agentokazaki @ 2003-06-10T10:15:00

2003-06-10T14:23:35Z

waking up early to clean the house is awful.

Michael called a couple times last night, and I missed it because I was at the of montreal show. I hope he is okay. The show last night was pretty great. The Crayons were wonderful, as usual.

I think I might have to work today, but I'm not sure. I should definitely look into that.

[I woke up in the middle of the night Sunday. The room was hot and my thoughts were keeping me awake. My self-doubt was haunting me. I rolled over and I watched you sleep. I was looking for some sort of reassurance. I wanted to be sure that all of this was right. [not right forever- I'm not looking for signs that we're 'soul mates,' people grow and change, the situations are different- but right for now.] I watched you breathe in and out. I put my hand over your heart and I felt it beat. I stared into your face desperately seeking something unknown. I couldn't find it. I was done. I just wanted to go back to sleep. As I rolled over, you reached out for me and pulled me into you. And I felt so foolish for doubting myself. And I was happy. [no more doubt. and no more arguing over where we're going to eat.]]

October 29, 2002

2003-06-02T04:38:22Z

After I dropped Michael off tonight, I put in a mix CD from months ago. This song was on that CD. It made me the happiest girl in the world. This song was playing when you first kissed me. In your room. After pizza. With your night light on. On October 29, 2002.

i broke in.

2003-05-26T15:42:33Z

i love you.
just know that.

xoxo
willi_m

agentokazaki @ 2003-05-15T23:33:00

2003-05-16T03:53:03Z

Tonight wasn't awful.

It turns out my pregnant bitch of a/an [assistant] manager has been lying to my manager about me. I think she was trying to get me fired, but I don't know why. She got transferred to another store, so I won't have to deal with her anymore.

I told Brett that I was keeping a secret. A secret so great that I wanted the world to know. A secret that makes me happier than I've been in months. I'm no good at keeping secrets, but he didn't catch on. Thank heavens. No one is supposed to know.

I was reunited with an internet friend tonight. [that sounds so lame.] We stopped talking when I changed my AIM. He might be moving to Tampa. That's exciting.

Grad party tomorrow night with Big Mike like what. I don't really want to go, so I feel even worse for dragging Mike along. Oh, but I will look hott. I have to make up for how awful I've looked this past four years of high school. I'm wearing a really tight shirt and extra-lowrise black pants, and I'm so bloated. Guess who's not eating tomorrow. Just water. Fuck.

Day 1 and Day 2 are usually full of tears, cramps, and overeating. Day 3 is usually far better. and I am off to bed.

You're the reason I cannot forget this season.

2003-05-12T02:49:20Z

I always worry. A lot.
But fuck worrying. For serious.
I've been so happy lately.

agentokazaki @ 2003-03-12T15:18:00

2003-03-12T20:29:02Z

Friends only.

So sorry.

Leave a comment.
♥

'Young hearts be free tonight..'

2003-01-02T04:24:24Z

Rod Stewart was on in the car on the way home and now he's stuck in my head.

The past 28 hours have been weird like whoa. Too much medication, sweating, and bleeding. Right now, I can feel my whole body throbbing. Maybe it's the medication, but I don't think so. I'm giggling like an idiot. That's definitely from the medication.

My camera was finally put to good use.

Good night all. It is far past my bed time.

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-31T14:35:00

2002-12-31T19:44:31Z

My mom agrees with me. He has absolutely no counter argument, but he's so fucking stubborn. Now I know where I get it from.

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-31T12:40:00

2002-12-31T17:51:11Z

yay!! I finally figured out how to work my I Zone camera!!

Who's up for taking pictures of a naked gunslinger?

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-31T11:08:00

2002-12-31T16:19:19Z

Test Results

You think of yourself as being calm, bright, different, and happy.

Others think of you as being quiet, alone, beautiful, and content.

Your relationships can be described as comforting, warm, clear, and fun.

When stressed, you feel trapped.

Take this test here.

My choice of words is kind of lame, but I just woke up- so whatev. And, of course, it says that others see me as 'beautiful.' I'm so fucking narcissistic, but I wasn't even describing myself when I said that- I was describing my favorite animal.

'I was just thinking, most of last Wednesday, I hope we're together from here until dooms day.'

2002-12-30T23:24:39Z

My 2002 in 20 words:

PacSun, high school like a mother fucker, bad hair cuts, painful endings, shaky beginnings, picnics, growing up and moving on.

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-30T00:07:00

2002-12-30T05:13:23Z

Fuck you, live journal. You win. I've spent an hour trying to fix my journal because you keep fucking it up. I'm done fighting for tonight. I'm going to bed.

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-30T00:06:00

2002-12-30T05:13:19Z

If there is still more than one of the same journal entry, I'm sorry. I guess live journal hates me.

mother fucker

2002-12-29T08:46:47Z

I've been home for about two hours now, and I can't seem to fall asleep. I hate this.

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-29T02:04:00

2002-12-29T07:11:08Z

ha. Nathaniel showed this to me: http://www.catandgirl.com/view.cgi?26
He told me I look like Girl. I thought it was pretty funny. Christine, I thought about you when I read it because I know you're such a big fan of dead baby jokes.

good night all.

<3

2002-12-28T19:18:53Z

I feel so great. Things are okay with my parents.

Oh, you make me so happy. so happy.

and I'm off to work!

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-27T22:42:00

2002-12-28T03:53:33Z

So, here's a summary of my evening:
-I got hit on by one of my female coworkers again
-I went to scratch my tummy and some one asked 'what is okazaki, and why do you have it written on your stomach?' ha.
-My manager tried to run me over.
My coworkers are freaks.

I think I'm going to sit down and talk with my parents tomorrow. I need to show them I'm responsible. We'll see how it goes.

I'm not particularly tired, but I'm not allowed out ::at least I don't think I am:: So I guess I will go to bed. [sigh]

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-27T12:22:00

2002-12-27T17:25:16Z

I hate being stuck in my house. I can't stop thinking about last night. You were in my dreams.

I think I'm addicted.

. I n e e d y o u l i k e w h o a .

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-27T04:04:00

2002-12-27T09:16:49Z

My parents are mad at me. I feel bad. They feel like I'm trying to take advantage of them. I don't mean to.

I had such a great time tonight. I just wish I wasn't such a bad daughter.

I feel like the parent-child relationship is made up of two people who depend very heavily on each other, not just the child on the parent. I feel like I don't depend on them anymore as much as they depend on me.

This probably doesn't make any sense. I probably won't be thinking properly until tomorrow morning. good night, and thank you for a terrific evening.

'Your tongue in my mouth trying to keep the words from coming out.'

2002-12-26T23:21:10Z

I have no idea what to think right now. I hate reading your livejournal. You're always so vague. I wish I knew what was going on. I wish you knew what was going on.

Work was hell today. I can't wait until midnight.

'Love's an excuse to get hurt and to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do, I do. Then hurt me.'

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-25T21:42:00

2002-12-26T02:47:35Z

I just watched Lovely and Amazing. It was really good, but it didn't end right. Oh, but Jake Gyllenhaal was so hot. I was pleased.

ha. So I took this quiz:

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

how funny is that? 'Nerd Slut.' Oh geez.

'There's a little black spot on the sun today.'

2002-12-25T20:54:48Z

Nathaniel is sleeping, CJ and friend are playing video games, Mom is cooking, Dad is avoiding everybody, and none of them want company. It's a typical xmas at the Scannapieco's. I have a car this year, though. I think I might take off after dinner. Maybe I'll drive down to the beach. Maybe I'll just drive and see where I end up.

I'm so bored it hurts. Dinner will be ready in less than an hour. Hopefully I can keep myself entertained until then.

Merry Christmas.

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-24T16:49:00

2002-12-24T21:58:08Z

Today has been terrific. Work was dead, so they let me go early. We were so bored that we did 'PacSun Superlatives.' I was 'most likely to marry a rock star.' ha.

My ex boyfriend Matt came in today. I hadn't seen him in about six months. We spent New Year's Eve 2000-2001 together. That was two years ago. gee whiz. Time flies. I always thought that our relationship was kind of one-sided, but I was wrong. After two years, he still remembered my phone number and birthday, and he still has all those emails that we used to send back and forth to each other. I deleted them about six months ago. He said he'd give me a call this weekend. We'll see. He asked about my mom. ha. What a sweet heart..

I bought a pair of gap jeans today with my xmas money. yay! Next week, I'm getting shoes. I can't wait.

agentokazaki @ 2002-12-23T23:28:00

2002-12-24T04:37:13Z

Work was awful tonight. Two sales associates walked out because they don't like the new assistant manager. So fucking lame. We were really busy and we were short two people. grr.

Then, when things started to die down, Mandy asked me if I got punched in the mouth. I was like 'what the hell are you talking about?' She's all 'you've got a bruise on your lower lip.' So I ran to the mirror, and sure enough- there's a nasty bruise on my lower lip. Everybody was dying to know what it was from, so I finally gave in and told them. They wouldn't stop teasing me. Whatev. Like it's never happened to them before. ugh.

I have to be at work at eight tomorrow. I'm going to bed.